If you have not conceived after a year of unprotected sex and are looking for reasons why, you may have heard that stress could be a key role in infertility. Repeated failures lead to anxiety and depression levels that rival women inflicted with HIV and cancer, according to Alice D. Domar, Director of the Women’s Health Programs at the Mind/Body Institute at the Harvard Medical School. That said, even though there is a possible link, the relationship between infertility and stress is not fully understood. Doctors have not yet determined concrete cause-and-effects between the two, but look to stress as a strong influence over fertility.

The word “stress” is one of the most overused and misunderstood words in the English language. Stress by definition is the body’s natural response to danger, which is triggered by any events the brain perceives as threatening. The brain releases the hormone cortisol in the bloodstream to act as nature’s defense mechanism against any perceived danger. However, stress is very unlikely to be the initial cause of infertility – rather, just the opposite. Infertility often causes stress as it is disappointing, disrupts plans for the future and may even wreak financial havoc (through costly fertility treatments, or missing work due to scheduled doctor appointments). When stress is triggered, the influx of cortisol may disrupt the reproductive hormones that are responsible for conception. This pattern may continue in a vicious cycle, and often does, cementing chemically the relationship between infertility and stress..

While stress may not have a concrete correlation to the ability to conceive, our stress levels determine our overall health. Generally speaking, an unhealthy body is less likely to impregnate or be impregnated. Moreover, infertility itself is often a symptom of a much deeper problem, so upon treating infertility it may be good to approach it as a symptom of something else, such as unhealthy weight, an ovulation disorder or erectile dysfunction. While it won’t be the cause of any of these conditions, excessive stress can aggravate these disorders and slow down the body’s natural healing process. With that in mind it is imperative to take care of oneself and reduce stress as much as possible.

If “reducing stress” and “relaxation” are starting to sound a little alien, one of the most effective stress busters is to work off extra energy. Go for a jog, a swim, or anything else you like to do to get moving. Exercise also releases endorphins, the “feel good” hormone, and inhibits the production of cortisol. Also, talk with your partner. If both of you are under stress, it is especially important to bond and be there for one another. Keep your lines of communication open, and reach out to others – look for any support groups in your area. Go to bed earlier if you can.

One final important note: If you are considering fertility treatments, it is worth noting that women who felt more relaxed during treatment on average had higher success rates. However, do not think of relaxation as a conscious attempt to become pregnant. Doing so will only set you up for failure. Follow the aforementioned advice because it is good for you physically, mentally and emotionally. Take care of yourself as much as possible because it is good to do so, and remind yourself of that reason. The relationship between infertility and stress is real. Reducing that stress is the best thing you can do for yourself.